House of Took
by yaoigirl22
Summary: Bilbo may say he's a Baggins, but he is also a Took, and Tooks are very…eccentric. As our company of Dwarves are about to find out. "What do you mean we're married!" Not Slash!


**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hobbit.**

**A/N: Welcome to my first Hobbit fic, though I've seen the movie (which was great), I've read the books thousand of times, even have a copy...somewhere lol! Anyway I came up with this plot because there were stories of Bilbo's Took side but never any of the dwarfs meeting said Took, so here it is.**

**This take place after they get down from the mountain the eagles placed them on, yes I know they stay at a friend of Gandalf, just pretent they stay there a little later on in the journey. **

**I hope you enjoy it.**

**Warnings: Mentions of slash and mpreg though none of the main characters, kind of sorta kidnapping, and enccentric Hobbits with the last name Took. **

**Enjoy! **

* * *

**House of Took **

It was late into the night when Berylla Took was finally able to put little Sago to bed, when there was a knock on the door, curious as to who could be visiting so late she opened the door and was greeted to the sight of her nephew, weary and scruffy looking, behind him were thirteen equally weary and scruffy looking Dwarfs and one wizard.

"Good evening Auntie Berylla" Bilbo greeted, smile as tired as the rest of him.

"Good evening nephew" Berylla greeted.

"I'm sorry to bother you so late and to come by unexpected but, uh you see, I was wondering if it was possible for us to stay here for the night…or couple days"

The Hobbit looked over the Dwarfs that stood behind Bilbo, then back at her nephew.

"Are they house- trained?" she asked, indicating her head to the Company.

Bilbo blinked at her, then looked at the Dwarfs who had various looks of bewilderment and perhaps a bit of anger, even Thorin, Gandalf on the other hand looked amused.

"Er, define house-trained" Bilbo finally said turning back to his Aunt.

Berylla merely gave a small smile before letting them in, "Wipe your feet" she then instructed, before leading them into a large spacious Den, "are any of you in danger of dying?"

"Uh maybe?"

"Hm, well bandages, ointments, and herbs are in that cupboard over there, blankets and pillows in the other, feel free to the pantry, please don't destroy the plumbing and absolutely no singing or any loud noises. I just put Little Sago to bed, and I will not have him wake, and if you wake him I will skin you alive, cut off you breads and shove them down you throats, am I clear?"

All the Dwarves nodded, eyes wide with surprised not only the threat but that it came from a Hobbit, as small as this one.

Berylla had short brown hair and blue eyes, dressed in nothing but her night robe hands on hips, she should not be as terrifying to a Company of harden Dwarfs who have fought Trolls, Orcs, and Goblins.

She was.

"Good, pleasant dreams"

With that said Berylla left them be.

"Are you sure we're safe here?" Fili finally said after moments of stunned silences from the Company.

Gandalf chuckled while Bilbo gave a bit of a sheepish smile, the two shared a look gone unnoticed by the others before the Hobbit went to the cupboard to gather the bandages and such. After all were cleaned and bandaged (with surprising little damage from all including Thorin who had his armor to thank for that), the Company settles down for much deserved rest.

* * *

It is one thing to wake in a home you have vague memories of entering, it's another to awake to the sight of a large white wolf-like beast hovering over your sleeping blissfully unaware burglar.

Quick as lightening Thorin had his sword in hand and aiming it at the beast (who merely stared at the object with a look of disinterest before going back to sniffing at the Hobbit), he sudden movements awoken his Kin, who as soon as they saw the creature took up arms.

"Ah, I see you've met Olo" Gandalf said pleasantly as he stretched and rubbed sore muscles.

"Olo?"

"Yes, the family pet, a hybrid and about as dangerous as a butterfly"

Thorin looked away from the wizard and back at the….family pet, startled to find the creature's muzzle mere inches from his own face. Dark blue eyes stared into amber, before a long wet pink tongue trailed itself all over the Dwarf King's face.

Thorin glared at the pet ignoring his snickering nephews, movement from behind said pet told him that Bilbo was waking.

"Good mor—Olo!"

The wizard chuckled as the large pet tackled their burglar and preceded to welcome him.

"Get off!" Bilbo squeaked from underneath the beast, his voice was laced with laughter and amusement.

"My, my, my, what do we have here?"

All heads turned to the Hobbit, female and older than Berylla, brown hair tied back in a ponytail and sparkling blue eyes.

"You must be the guests, Berylla told me about last night" she said, then turned her eyes to her nephew who was hidden underneath the giant form of Olo.

"Hello nephew"

"Good morning Auntie Rosa" came Bilbo's muffled reply.

Rosa chuckled before ordering Olo off of her nephew, "Go wake everyone" she then said, petting the soft fur as the Hybrid did as ordered, she gave her nephew a look to which was return with one of his own. Rosa titled her heard before addressing the company.

"Now then, what are your names my dears?"

"Thorin"

"Fili"

"And Kili"

"Balin"

"Dwalin"

"Bifur"

"Bofur"

"Bombur"

"Dori"

"Nori"

"Ori"

"Oin"

"Gloin"

"At your service" all thirteen chorused.

Rosa smiled pleasantly, "Rosa Tooks, at yours, and wonderful to see you again Gandalf"

"As you, looking radiant as ever I see"

Rosa giggled, "Always the charmer aren't you? Well I better help Sam with breakfast, you lot just rest until its ready, seems you had quite an adventure" she then said indicating to the bandages before heading off into the kitchen.

"Lovely Hobbit, you're Aunt" Gandalf said.

Bilbo nodded, yes, his Aunt was, all of those in the Shire thought so when she came for a visit, even if she was a Took. Bilbo got up from his makeshift bed and started folding the sheets; he had just put them back in their rightful place when a sound like a herd of running horses could be heard coming down the hall. The Dwarfs all looked around startled, while Gandalf chuckled in his corner

Bilbo braced himself and was not disappointed when he was suddenly tackled to the ground, wincing when his sore back hit the floor.

"Cousin Bilbo!"

"We missed you!"

"We took you so long to visit!?"

"Is that a sword?"

"Are you on an adventure?"

"Did you kill any Orcs"

"Did you find any treasure?"

"Did you bring me anything?"

"Who are they?"

Big eyes on tiny bodies turned to the Company who had moved closer to each other and watched as their burglar was tackled and buried underneath a pile of hyper bodies.

"Dwarfs" Bilbo answered.

Big eyes if possible got bigger, and for a moment all the Dwarfs felt a sense of fear creep down their spine, luckily they were saved by one word.

"Food!"

And the storm left as quickly as it went, laughing and squealing away.

"What was that?" Bofur finally asked.

"My cousins" Bilbo said as he stood, a small smile on his lips, he had forgotten how energetic they were.

Shock of seeing Hobbit children act in such a way wore off, after all children, no matter what the race, was full of energy.

The Company followed their burglar to the dining room, and Dwarfs eyes widen.

Never did they see so many Hobbits in one place…and so energetic too.

Voices were loud and food was being occasionally thrown, it reminded them of well….them.

"Everyone quiet down please" Rosa said, she didn't yell, yet they seem to have heard her as everyone settled down, "please have a seat and help yourself"

There was a bit of shuffling (mostly for Gandalf) before everyone was settled, and breakfast resumed, with Olo large form hovering and begging for scrapes that were either given or had fallen.

"You surprised Berylla last night" Sam, Bilbo's Uncle and Rosa's twin brother said.

"My apologizes we did not mean to, it's just that we've come a long way and Mr. Baggins has said he had family who would welcome us living close by" Thorin said.

"Oh don't worry about it" Rosa said, "tell me though, are you finished with your adventure or is this merely to rest and heal your wounds"

"Merely to rest, we have a long ways to go"

"Well, you welcome to stay as long as you need to, something I think your Kin will not mind" Sam said, watching as Kili and Fili juggled plates for the children.

After breakfast, the women shoo'ed the men, and children outside while they cleaned up, the moment they step foot outside, the dwarfs were pounced on by the children. Children who were no taller than the Dwarfs' legs, the oldest barely reaching their thigh.

"Is it true that Dwarfs stronger than trolls?"

"Why are you so hairy?"

"Mama said Dwarfs are emotional constipated, what's constipated?"

"Why do you have an axe in your head?"

"I like you, can I keep you?"

Bilbo having a smoke with the men and Gandalf chuckled as he watched the normally unmovable Dwarfs become flustered as they tried to keep up with never ending questions being asked all at once. Even Thorin looked a bit over whelmed, especially when Milo – His Uncle Lotho's son- try to climb him like a tree.

"It's probably best if you don't leave them alone with your Aunts" Porro, his Uncle, said, "they'll get eaten alive"

Bilbo laughed, knowing well enough that it was true, the Tooks had always been unusual for Hobbits, always going off on adventures and such things that were not proper, but this particular Clan of Tooks, to which his mother and siblings were born into, went beyond that. To the point that they were even strange for Tooks.

And that was saying something!

"That will be entertaining to see, and maybe it'll make the Company think twice about Mister Baggins, and Hobbits all together, especially after Bilbo's display of courage days ago" Gandalf said before blowing a ring of smoke.

"Now, now you can't blame them; we Hobbit's don't exactly inspire much in appearances" Vigo, Aunt Berylla's husband said.

"I find that Hobbits inspire much" Gandalf said in that oh so mysterious way of his.

* * *

As the days went on, the Company healed from their battle with the Orcs, the Dwarfs found themselves quite honestly confused, for they could not understand how their well-mannered (and frankly adorable) burglar came from a family like this! The House of Took, as it was affectionately called, was nothing like Bag End, with its neat homely feel. No, there were paint prints on the walls, furniture had things hanging from them, though most of said furniture was used for mock battles the children had a tendency to play. More often than not the home looked like a war ground.

Yet despite this, there was a feeling of home, perhaps there were some similarities to Bag-End after all.

Then there were the pets, Olo, who was a parentage of a wolf and warg, big as a horse it was, with more wolf-like features then warg thankfully, the beast was mostly the babysitter ("I found the thing alone in the forest nothing but skin and bones the poor dear" Rosa explained, while scratching Olo's belly), there was Rosemary the hen who was as dangerous as a Orc, as poor Dori found out when he accidently step on her.

Banazir, the kitten who could be found sleeping in the most strangest of places, though he seem have developed a fondness for sleeping on top of Dwalin's head. Finally there was Arnor the tortoise, who followed Kili and Fili about at his slow pace (more often than not with a child riding it's shell), though the brothers weren't sure it was because the tortoise liked them or wanted to bite them.

Finally there was the Tooks themselves, a family of twenty-seven, not counting Bilbo, with the head of the Clan being the twins Rosa and Sam, though who was the oldest not even themselves knew. There was Berylla with her husband Vigo with their sons Isengar, Insengrim and Insengrin. Porro, his wife Valdemar and their son Sago the youngest of the family not yet a year, Lotho, his husband Rudibert and their son Milo, Erling, his husband Priamus and their son Drogo, there was Uncle Celedor. Razanur with his sons, Robur and Robin, Selina with her husband Ponto and their triplets Belba, Bellisima, and Belinda, and finally there was Nicol son of Sam.

Rosa, Sam, Lotho, Erling, Selina, Celedor and Razanur were brothers and sisters to Bilbo's mother, making the children his cousins and the others in-laws.

What a bunch they were, the children always off into the woods, climbing trees, chasing animals, splashing in ponds, digging in dirt looking for treasure always coming home tracking dirt everywhere, sometimes bringing home pets, they had even gotten the young ones of the Company to play along, the look on Thorin's face when his nephews came back with a rather large snake coiled on Kili's arm and asked to keep it was a memory that Gandalf will remember for a long time.

The children were also very curious, asking all kinds of questions, to which none of the Company minded (some use to it), it was just that the children tended to ask questions all at once. The children to have taken to sleeping with the Company, little bodies snuggled up in their beards or hair.

Then there were the guests, Hobbits, Men, even a Elf or two stopped by to visit the family, some for food others for a friendly chat, once an Ranger stopped by and the Company watched in amazement as Porro –the baby of the siblings and the smallest- smacked the man with a frying pan and scolded the man for not visiting when he said he would.

Then there were the adventures that the Tooks took before they settled down, and the Dwarfs could see where Bilbo got his courage from.

And the adults, as it was, were sometimes worse than the children, though the males of the family were a bit more easy-going preferring a smoke and merely doing whatever the women told them to, when asked why Sam chuckled and replayed " Simple, they scare us".

None of the dwarfs could argue with that, especially after seeing Selina with a knife, the indecent in questions was after lunch and the children had hurried off to play Olo right behind them, Selina had ushered the Company (Kili, Ori and Fili being able to sneak out before they got caught) to the den, her husband, Sam, Bilbo, Celedor and Razanur right behind her. Once settled the Hobbits checked on the wounds (once again ignoring the dwarfs protest of how they were capable of doing it themselves). They were almost done when came Robin rushing in, covered in dirty and twigs.

"Auntie look at what Fili gave me!"

Bilbo gave a stern look at Fili when the little Hobbit presented the knife, that while it was most defiantly Hobbit size was too small for Robin.

"Oh how lovely" Selina said, taking hold of it and feeling the balance.

Suddenly she flung the knife, the blade sailing past Bofur's head taking his hat and pinning it to the wall.

"Wow! How you learned that!?"

Selina laughed, "Tell you what, eat all your vegetables during dinner and I'll teach"

Robin cheered and raced off, probably to tell his cousins, thirteen stunned eyes turned away from the pinned hat and to the Hobbit who was now gathering everything up.

"Something wrong?" she asked blinking when she noticed the stares.

The Company made a point not to anger the She-Hobbit during their stay.

* * *

"Here"

Dwalin blinked when suddenly his lap was full of little Hobbit, Baby Sago blinked up at the big Dwarf and smiled.

"Watch him for a moment" Sam said and left before the other could say anything.

Sago babbled happily, eyes catching hold of the long bread with a squeal he grabbed a fistful of beard and tugged, the dwarf winced, surprised at the strength from the wee one.

"Not so hard"

Sago giggled, laughing when some of the bread tickled his nose

Dwalin chuckled, before tickling the babe.

Such a sight made Bilbo look twice as he and his Aunt Rosa past.

"Sweet" Rosa coo'ed, before heading further down the hall.

Bilbo stared at the scene, before smiling and following his Aunt.

* * *

It was their last night at the House of Took, the Company were settling in, trading stories with Rosa, Bilbo had been dragged by his cousins to their room, they had a goodbye gift they wanted to give him, the other adults were outside.

"I hope you stay here wasn't to troublesome, I know we can be…eccentric" Rosa said chuckling at the loud squealing coming down the hall.

"It was surprising yes" Balin said with a smile, "we never thought Mister Baggins's family would be so different"

Gandalf was the only one who noticed the mischievous gleam in the Hobbit's eyes, and nearly choked on his pipe at the next words that came out of her mouth.

"Yes, Bilbo maybe a Baggins, but he is also a Took, though I never expected him to show up at our door with thirteen dwarf husbands"

Stunned silences.

"….Husband?" said, Thorin.

"Would you prefer to be called wife? Must say prefect timing, what with a full moon being a few days away."

"And what happens during such a time?" Gandalf asked, eyes twinkling.

"We Hobbits go in to a type of heat, it's much like a cat, highly uncomfortable and only consolable with the pleasure of the flesh. I'm so happy that my little Bilbo found others to help him through such a time, but like I said, dwarfs were unexpected"

Gandalf's shoulder shook as he tried to hold back his laughter at the stunned, blushing, somewhat lustful and horrified expressions.

"We're" Dwalin squeaked, he paused to clear his throat and spoke again, "We're not Bilbo's husbands"

Rosa's smiled, and it was the most terrifying thing they've ever seen.

"The thing that makes us Tooks different from other Hobbits is that when we are ready to settle down, we did not bother with all that courting and other such nonsense. We merely kidnap our intended and take them to our ancestral home, though that's really just which ever relative house is nearby. I must say though this is the first time a Took has brought back a spouse that didn't need to be tied up. Of course no one can top Lily Took who placed sleeping herbs in her husband's stew, knocked him right out it did, the man snored all the way to the house!"

By now Gandalf was nearly turning blue with trying to keep his laughter in, while the Dwarfs were plagued with images of them being gagged and tied then dragged through the forest by Bilbo.

"We're not—Bilbo never—" Kili stuttered.

"Oh yes before I forget!"

Rosa turned to Thorin, "Are the rumors about Dwarfs being well-endowed true?"

Thorin stared wide-eyed at her.

"Oh Bilbo!"

Bilbo reentered the room, face covered in pant wearing a crown made out of daises, the Hobbit titled his head at the looks he received from the dwarfs, both brows going up at the sight of a blushing Thorin he looked at Gandalf who's hold body was shaking and looked ready to pass out from the laughter he was holding back. His aunt merely shrugged when her nephew's turned a questioning gaze her way.

The next morning the Company were happy to depart, healed, and fully supplied they went on their way.

"Bye Bilbo!" Selina called to the walking party.

Bilbo waved

"Don't take so long to visit next time!"

"You lot take care of him you here!"

"We expect you all to come visit! And I expect an answer next time!" Rosa said.

Bilbo wondered why the Company flinched or why Gandalf gave a soft laugh.

* * *

Bilbo had his suspicions that his one of his Aunts had done something to his Company; it was the only reason why the Dwarfs looked at him in a strange way, the way Gandalf kept snickering to himself. At night they would watch him, none sleeping before him. He finally had enough when he had suggested he cook and had a chorus of no's.

"What did she say?" Bilbo sighed.

"Who?" Kili asked.

"One of my Aunts told you something didn't she?"

"Uhhh…."

"What was it?"

Bilbo jumped when he was suddenly surrounded by Dwarfs, all talking at once.

"Do Hobbits really go into heat!?"

"I didn't even know I was being kidnapped!"

"Who came up with that tradition!?"

"I'm too young to be married!"

"What?" Bilbo said "Heat? Marriage?"

"It seems your Aunt Rosa has been telling tales of Hobbits going into heat on a full moon, and how they kidnap the ones they wish to marry" Gandalf said chuckling.

Bilbo stared at the wizard, then back at the Dwarfs, and burst out laughing, he laughed so hard that he nearly fell off the log he was sitting on.

"My Aunt is truly a wondrous Hobbit!" he laughed.

"It is not funny Mister Baggins" Thorin scold.

"No" Bilbo said, sobering up though his eyes did twinkle, "it isn't, nor is it nice for my Aunt to tell such admittedly amusing lies"

"…Lies?" Bofur asked.

"Yes, Hobbit's don't got into heat on full moons or anytime as a matter of fact"

Bilbo wasn't sure how he felt about the sighs of relief or the small gleams of disappointment he seen in some of the dwarfs' eyes.

"That's a relief, no offensive lad" Dwalin said.

Bilbo merely nodded, and everything resumed, and Bilbo was allowed to cook. When everyone was full and had settled down, Thorin remembered.

"What of the kidnapping?" the Dwarf King asked.

"I beg your pardon?" Bilbo asked, pipe half way into his mouth.

"Your Aunt, said that your family kidnapped their intended, was that a lie as well?"

All paused and looked at the Hobbit.

"Ah, that" Bilbo said, before placing his pipe in his mouth, lighting it.

All waited for more, but not came.

"And?" Thorin asked.

Bilbo grinned before going to sit next to Gandalf.

The next morning the Company continued on their way, thought whether or not they were married to their burglar remained unknown.

* * *

_**I hope you enjoyed it! **_

_**Review Please!**_


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